Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
