My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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