i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who died my cat blue again?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
