i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
