well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Randomize
