Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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