Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Please don't give away my fajitas
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