I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I faked an abortion last night.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
