I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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