i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
