anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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