the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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