xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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