Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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