my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize