I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
