Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
