Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
