I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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