He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
