Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
