this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
