Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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