doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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