fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
