drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
