I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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