At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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