You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
