Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
