wat bout pragnant strippers??
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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