I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
People in love make me want to vomit
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
