just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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