Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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