When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My breasts were aching with rage.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
