wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were destined to go to rehab together
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
