i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
