i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
