she smelled like a LAN party
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
