Jerry, you need to find god
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
