Just mADE A PArabola og urine
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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