don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
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