You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize