guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
