i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize