pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
