So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
