we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
