yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
