forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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