i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
