If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Never joke about your clitoris.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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