Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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