remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
