Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
