...so i touched it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
