I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
