there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize