scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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