I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
