I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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