The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
