wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
